"Belly Dancer" by Layla Edwards
4:44 am Friday, July 4th, 2008
“How a booboo ends”
Dawn is arriving now, it arrived at 4:44 this morning. I can see dawn's early light. It is thrilling. Everything is dark, but dawn's early light began. The birds have not yet woken up, all is still, all is quiet. I am up, Beanie is up, but the birds and insects have not yet woken up. There was thunderstorm last evening because of monsoon season. I saw what that sky looked like and someone somewhere did get major storm. But we just got some thunder and some rain. But I can't believe a sky like that did not produce major storm somewhere. O first bird tweeted, now another louder tweet. Now it is talking to itself, chirping to itself. It has a lot to say. It is the first bird up, and is having conversation in its nest. Maybe it is talking to its birdie family. O it is non-stop conversation. O it stopped. No, there it is again. I didn't realize birds were so talkative, they wake up talkative. It must be funny to be birdie, waking up in nest high up in tree with your whole family nestled around you, all warm and feathery and sweet.
Yesterday was the day my foot problem went away for real and for good. I knew it as soon as I woke up yesterday. It was the oddest experience, because I recognized it in my mind first. When I had foot booboo, before I would get up and walk, I would have little conversation in my mind about what it would be like, is it going to be easy to walk? or what will it be like? But yesterday when I woke up, and was going to start this conversation, it was like I pressed the button for the conversation, and I got "this program has been deleted." I wasn't able to bring up any questions. Walking was no longer in question. Booboo was no longer in question. It was like "subject is closed." I just knew I would walk perfectly and the whole thing was over. Because my mind had shut the door to anything else. It was so definitive. I actually saw it happen in my mind. I raised the question and door was slammed shut! There was an instant of static and then no sound at all. The topic could not be raised, the decision had been taken, it was over. And sure enough that is exactly what walking was like, it just was not in question in anyway. About walking or booboo or anything. It was taken out of existence.
It was as if before 10 times a day I would click button for "status of foot booboo" and I would get report like "feeling much better" or whatever. And yesterday when I clicked for status of foot booboo, I got "foot booboo does not exist, file not found." And that was the end of foot booboo.
Post script, 9:14 am My Dream:
After I wrote this, I went back to sleep and had huge dreams. All about food preparation in a house filled with people. Bill‘s friends were all there. And everyone was cooking food, me too. I even cooked 2 huge fish. Dream ended with a little old lady telling me she was going somewhere special. “Wait! I have just the perfume for you” I said, “let me get it. It is light and lovely.” She said “the taxi is waiting to take me.” “I will be very fast” I said. (In fact the perfume is called something like Angel perfume or Heaven, that is it, something like Heaven Sent). But when I get to my room, I realize the perfume is in my swim bag in back of truck. I am in such a hurry because she has taxi waiting. But I see the truck is right outside the window (open door) to my room. So I go out on balcony to jump down. But when I start the descent, I realize it was too steep a jump. It seems dangerous to make this jump. But I no longer can get back up. I wonder where Bill is, because he could help me make the jump, but I don’t know where he is. Finally I decide to just pray and trust and make the jump. And the happy miracle is, I floated down gently.
No comments:
Post a Comment