“Time for a change” (I won’t be blogging for a while)

Sunday morning, October 28, 2007 9:30 am
“Time for a change”

I won't be blogging for a while.

Because I was bored at computer last week, I decided to click on Erica Jong to see what she is up to now. First I read two interviews with her, plus commentary by the interviewers, which Wikipedia had linked to. One was from a British newspaper, and perhaps the other was European too. And I was stunned, shocked, and fell over at how absolutely nasty they were about Erica. I could not believe it. They completely trashed her and her writing. They were so snotty and superior. I felt like saying "let's see you write a better book then."

I thought “O Erica’s feelings will be so hurt.” In her books she always talks about how her feelings are hurt by mean reviews. And these two were lollapaloozas. “What does she do to elicit all this hate?” I wondered.

I was very upset by it, but when I talked to my Higher Self, she said “it doesn’t bother Erica. It’s the old principle, just spell my name right. She wants publicity for her books, and this is publicity. Big time.” And then I talked to Erica in spirit, and she said she is perfectly happy. And so I relaxed. I was happy she was happy.

So I reserved her latest book. And when Bill went to library day before yesterday, it was there. And last evening I spent the whole evening reading it. And I loved it.

She’s a great writer. Even tho this one is not a novel I loved it anyway. Half of it was about her experiences, half was about her own thoughts and perceptions and ideas, and half was her reflections on her experiences. And quite a bit about her daughter, who is now grown up. Her daughter went to college got addicted to coke. Went to rehab. Wrote her own book about those experiences. And now has a baby son. The joy of Erica’s life is playing with her baby grandson. And the book ends there. Erica on her hands and knees following her baby grandson around, as he throws all the trains she has set up in her studio, off the track and into the air, and claps his hands. She has unadulterated joy playing with her grandson.

The moment I felt closest to Erica was when her daughter had just told her “I have to go to rehab, I will die if I go right on taking drugs this way.” Erica had no idea of the scope of her daughter’s drug problem. Erica got right on the phone, and that evening they flew to Minnesota. Someone met them at the airport and drove them to the rehab place in the country. It was midwinter in Minnesota, frozen lake with snow outside. Someone came to admit her daughter, and then Erica was taken to a tiny room down the hall where she could spend the night. She felt like a terrible mother, she felt terrible. “Why o why did I let my daughter go off to college, where she got addicted to these terrible drugs.” She prayed to God, “God if you are there, please please help my daughter, don’t let her die, save my daughter. I beg you.”

In the morning she woke up to the quiet, peace, and beauty of nature. She saw the frozen lake, the fishermen ice fishing in their shacks on the lake. She saw the snowy forest around it. Even tho she just had her New York clothes, she walked until she was freezing. And she loved Minnesota. She loved Minnesota because it was so quiet, because it was so peaceful, and because she knew it would save her daughter. And it did.

After that I read some parts, which I thought were injudicious for her to put in. They were fun to read because gossip is fun, but it is just a cheap thrill -- by cheap, I mean short and shallow. She went to Barnard with Martha Stewart, and she slept with Martha Stewart’s husband at the Frankfort Book Fair. He told his wife. Martha Stewart was enraged and told everyone “Erica Jong ruined my marriage.” All of that is ok to write in her book if she wants to, but she should not have run Martha Stewart down that way. She should not have repeated every nasty thing Martha’s husband told her about Martha. And how much Erica agrees with all the nasty things. I don’t know why her editor let her leave it in, if she didn’t have the good judgment to take it out herself. Someone should have looked out for her. She is a great writer, it is a great book, she demeaned herself by leaving this in.

But all the other stuff was really great. And I woke up thinking about her father. The official story in the family was that her mother, the painter, was the artistic genius. And her mother’s father, also a painter, was the artistic genius. Her father had started out wanting to be a musician, but his genius was in business. He started a business selling that little junk people like, those little items which cost a dollar at the dollar store, that you might buy because they are sitting in a bowl on counter, and you think it’s cute. But what do you do with it? But he had business genius, and turned it into a huge business, and made a fortune. He was a great provider. His family grew up in lap of luxury. And I realized when I woke up Erica inherited her genius from her father, not her mother. His drive, his energy, his ambition, his creativity. His appetite for life.

And so I have decided it is time to go back to my writing too. To make a change. I may even go back to that lightworkers forum. And hope I don’t get consumed. My big problem posting on forums is I get consumed. And I may go back to my political forum too, if I can keep it light, and spend just a little time there.

Erica’s book is all about the lust for life and the lust for writing. And it triggered a change in direction for me now.

I'll probably go back to writing blog entries with my Higher Self, when we turn another corner, and I want to understand what is going on. But right now, I think it is time for me to go back into the world myself. I'll never be Erica, but I want to dip my toes in again.

Love, Annie