October 23, Tuesday, 7:10 am
“A very psychic evening”
Communicated by my Higher Self
It was one of those deep psychic evenings and nights, which are hard to describe in words. It began with dream she had early in the evening. She had nodded off while reading and had nap. And she woke up from her nap, hearing the last words in her dream. And they were she was saying, “I just don’t want anymore, I just don’t want anymore, I just don’t want anymore…”
And then she woke up. She had been saying it so softly, and quietly, it was more like a murmur.
“I don’t want anymore what?” she asked me, when she opened her eyes and remembered what she had been murmuring in her dream.
“Adultery” I said.
“But Bill is not an adulterer” she said.
“It’s about you and me” I said. “Adultery means betrayal, you think I betrayed you.”
It all goes back to the two horrendous episodes in her life, this past April and June, two episodes of unbearable stress. On one hand they pushed her into enlightenment, she did see for first time with her two eyes, or with her believing mind, that outer reality is reflection of inner reality. In other words, what occurs outside is projected from her mind. And so she is responsible for what happens, or is the author of it. However she knows I am in her mind too, so it had to be one of the two of us who authored those two periods of unbearable stress. And of course she thinks it is me. And she is right about that.
Those two periods of unbearable stress, one on the heels of the other, had a lot of positive outcomes. It was her breakthru into enlightenment. And it brought other positives into her life. Many things changed for the better. But the downside is the trauma. She has had a long history of trauma in the 20 years since the move to enlightenment began. And she handled it all well. By which I mean, her mind was not blighted by it. But these last two episodes did cause a blight. It’s like a beautiful flower which has bloomed, but in one tiny part of it, it is brown and cold and withered. That is the blight from the trauma. It is a part of her mind which has lost faith in me. She doesn’t believe I can protect her and she doesn’t believe I love her. Because if I could protect her and if I did love her then those two episodes would not have occurred, is how her thinking goes.
It was a strange conversation we had about this last evening. Because for first time we faced the blight, the brown spot, together.
“I made a mistake” I said. “I pushed you too hard, I didn’t know you would have this trauma you would never get over because of it, and lose faith in me. I didn’t foresee that result. But a mistake is not a sin, it just needs to be corrected. I will fix it all now.”
“If you could do it all over again,” she asked, “would you do the same thing?”
“Yes” I said “I would.”
“But you just said it was a mistake, why would you do it?
I said, “I would make the same mistake, I still did the right thing, I would do it again. But it has to be fixed. And I will fix it. I will fix it now because it is important you believe me and have faith in me. That has to be fixed.”
And incredibly she believed me. She has not believed one word I have said after these two episodes happened. But now she believed me again. She believed me when I said “I would fix it,” that I would. Which is very good. It is good she believed me again. And she started to have confidence again. When some of the fears left over from the trauma trickled across her mind, she stood up to them. She said “it is now fixed, I don’t have to worry so much.” She believed I had fixed it. That I can protect her and I will protect her and I do love her. She had faith in me again.
And that changed a lot. She stood up tall again instead of cowering.
She felt protected.
Then she read her mystery and finished that book and began to read the next book in the series and then she fell asleep. And had very interesting and unusual dreams all night long.
In her dreams she began off wondering if her teeth would be in better shape now if her mom had not taken her to dentist every year, as ordered by the schools, and the dentist drilled so many teeth and put in so many fillings. She wondered if her teeth would have been better off if they had been left alone. In the dream she was curious to return to the point where the era of the dentist began, and to follow thru if a different route had been taken, a route of no-dentist, to see what the outcome would have been instead.
But this dream about dental work quickly changed to a different dream with the same theme. Of what it would have been like if a totally different route had been taken in life? What life would have been like? Which life would she have led and be living? And here she got to see the whole alternative life. In the dream she was a man, a very outgoing man, living in New York City, going to parties and having a very outgoing exciting life. A life completely different from her life. Very sparkly and very splashy. A colorful exciting life.
Then that dream changed to one which had a theme like one of her detective murder mysteries, where you don’t know who the culprit is till the last page. But in this dream, she had already read the book. No one else knew who it was, but she did. She knew ahead of time, she knew all thru it. She knew who the man or woman was. But she wasn’t allowed to say anything. In the dream she knew she wasn’t allowed, that everyone had to find out at the end, that she could not tip them off. And that dream had convoluted plot twists and aura of menace and danger.
Then in her last dream before she woke up, she returned to her first theme, about two kinds of lives. And in that dream, she was shown there was Clark Kent and there was Superman. And she was given choice to lead her life as either one. The exciting dramatic life of superman, with all the attention he got, or the completely ordinary life of Clark Kent, just being a clerk reporter on a newspaper. A quiet ordinary life. And in the dream she chose Clark Kent. She preferred quiet ordinary obscure life, rather than dramatic splashy one.
And then she woke up to this beautiful morning, and she felt a lot of things had been resolved. That last night’s conversation with me had been very important and then the dreams had resolved it. She does not know what her dreams mean, but we will talk about that another time. The important thing was our conversation. That something so hidden was brought out into the light to be looked at together.
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