Monday morning 7:23 10/15/07 “Garden of Companionship”
(I changed a few of the names)
Communicated from my Higher Self
Well something changed. Yesterday’s weather was smashingly beautiful. And today is even more so. Her spirits stayed high all day yesterday for first time, altho she had woke up yesterday lower than low. Today for first time she did not wake up lower than low. Yes at 7:30 last evening, while she was at computer, she felt something very out of the ordinary, everything just felt strange. “Yes something huge is happening, but it is good thing” I told her. But instead of talking about it with me, she switched to the blog with all her stories on it, and posted the story about getting facial from Maria. She just changed Maria’s name to Rosa. She hadn’t felt comfortable posting the story there, because she had given the link to that blog to some people who know Maria. And she didn’t think Maria would like her confidences published on a public blog on internet. But I reassured her the people she gave the link to who know Maria, have long since lost the link, and never clicked it on. She is safe. She really really really wanted Maria to be protected, not to get upset. The concentration of posting the story on her story-blog really helped her. She became very happy. It’s amazing how much she loves posting on the internet. It is one of her favorite things to do. She loves posting on her blogs.
She dreamt about Grace last night, one of the things she occasionally does every 3 or 4 years. Altho being on email with Marilyn has brought the awareness of Grace much more fully into her life, because Marilyn was best friends with Grace in her last years. Annie had been forgetting Grace, being on email with Marilyn was making her remember her.
The dream took place in Grace’s house and there were a lot of people there. And apparently everyone was up all night, looking for the piece of paper where Grace had written down her plans. She had mislaid it. Half the dream was spent with everyone sorting thru papers, looking thru piles of paper. Grace was one of the people looking thru the papers. It occurred to Annie “this isn’t making sense, we keep looking thru the same piles of paper all over again.” She knew the logical thing was when a paper was looked at, and it wasn’t the paper they were looking for, that it be thrown away, or put away. Finally after a fruitless night of search, Grace became very dramatic and shrieked “someone is going to shoot me.” Annie became alarmed. She didn’t know whether Grace was accusing her, or she was in danger too. But her mother appeared at her side, and said “it is time for us to go home, let’s leave now,” and they did.
Annie woke up from that dream in middle of night. It was another long night for her, of waking up a lot of times, but not nearly as rough a night as the previous ones had been. She smoked a cigarette and we talked about the dream. I said “your mother was very sensible to just take you home, it was time to leave.” I pointed out about the dream, what a waste of time it had been to spend the whole time looking for the paper, they had just walked around in circles, and why didn’t Grace just sit down and write it again, her plans. Why did everyone have to rush around like a chicken without a head. And I said “no one is trying to shoot Grace, she is being dramatic. And your mother was absolutely right, the best thing to do is leave and leave now.”
I wanted Annie to have this dream so she could see how absolutely crazy her friendship with Grace had become just before it ended. Grace either had Annie running around in circles, or was very dramatic. And it was all a huge waste of time. Leaving was the best thing she ever did. The friendship may have continued to be a magical wonderful friendship for Marilyn and Julie and many others. When Grace went to Heaven, Julie said “this is catastrophic loss, she was priceless friend when you are going thru hard times.” Which is a perfect example of how absolutely subjective and individual everything is in life. For Julie it was catastrophic loss and the loss of a priceless friendship. For Annie the friendship had ended 8 years before Grace had gone to Heaven, after marked deterioration in the friendship before that. There was no loss. And if Marilyn and Julie were to dream about Grace now, it would be a dream of a lovely lively friendship, not the utter insanity Annie dreamt last night.
Not only are experiences subjective, but there is a flow to life, like the ocean thru the cenotes in the Yucatan. Where you swim thru cave after cave after cave after cave, the amazing swim experience of a lifetime, the amazing adventure of a lifetime. Because you see, Annie knows why Julie called it a catastrophic loss, she knows all about Grace’s priceless companionship when you are going thru hard times, she experienced it. And she knows why Marilyn treasured her friendship with Grace, she experienced that too. But her swim thru life had just taken her to another place. And the place she had reached she and Grace were on opposite shores moving in opposite directions.
Friendships have seasons. The current sweeps you thru the cenotes and you don’t know what you will find around the next bend. Like two pieces of puzzle fitting neatly into each others grooves, this is the summer she became friends with Marilyn. That sense of completion is always experienced when you make a new friend. It’s all about a fit. The parts jutting out are what you long to give, the parts which recede deeply is what you want to receive. And sometimes there is a match. It’s not a click, it is a fit. And always causes an expansion.
lol this jigsaw puzzle of your life never stays the same. It always grows and changes, and is immensely fluid. Once there was a fit with Grace but that time is long time past. Now there is new fit with Marilyn, and is joy to both girls. What makes it new and lovely, is it is always new fit. Because as life moves on, you grow totally new grooves. The landscape of your life always changes. What Grace offered back than at her best, Annie would have no use for now; and what Marilyn offers now is just what Annie wants.
And yes some friendships are life companions. Helen, Jan, and Margot are that for Annie. A life companion is like a sister or a cousin, they are the family you form in this life. You don’t know which friendships will turn into life companions, but it doesn’t matter. All together they make up your garden of companionship. There is your husband, your husband’s friends, your pets, your life companions, your friends, your girlfriends, your male friends. They are your sheltering trees and your lovely blossoms. In fact all the biology of the planet, all the flora and fauna, is the spill-over of this love. Each of you has a garden of companionship, and altogether it recreates itself as the beautiful forest, the deep rivers, the babbling brooks; the raspberries, the blackberries, the blueberries, and every pretty flower which ever was.....
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