the sparrows are all over my backyard, I love them
Bumpy evening (but happy morning)
Communicated by my Higher Self
April 8, 2008, 7:02 am
Tuesday
Well it is another beautiful April morning, early still, so light shines on new pretty young leaves, and turns them glowing green, that lovely pretty green of new young leaves.
All is well.
All is happy lit-up beauty.
And the birds are all chirping up a storm.
Annie had a shock last evening. She was eating a banana and felt something hard in the banana in her mouth and thought "O no!" She knew it was that jiggly tooth which had been bothering her for past 3 days. And sure enough it was. A root canal and false tooth put in is very expensive proposition, plus some of her friends recently had painful experiences from root canal. I suggested she ask her mom on email if her mom wants to pay for it, and let that make her decision. Her mom just wrote back she doesn't want to pay for it. That leaves the option of driving to Mexico for it (it is 3 trips), finding out if there is dentistry at low cost for low income in Tucson, or just doing nothing. I think for the time being she should just do nothing. She thinks "how will I ever smile again if I do nothing?" But she can practice smiling with her lower lip as high up as it will go to cover her teeth. And if it shows it is not the biggest tragedy in the world. I am not saying she should permanently do nothing about it. I am just saying, right now she should do nothing. If she can keep her spirits high and happy, despite the tooth thing, then everything is OK.
It completely knocked her for a loop when it first happened. Because the instant it happened she contemplated doing nothing, and it seemed like such a blow to give up prettiness. She had some perspective, she knew it wasn't the worst thing in the world which had happened. But her happiness ran out the window. She was a stressed unhappy girl.
But at some point she decided to try to be happy again. To just forget about it and try to be happy again. She went on her news forum and posted about Jesse Ventura and Ron Paul, and said she wished they would be in the White House next year. She likes them both so much.
And she did have good dreams when she fell asleep at night. She dreamt everyone was in the doctor's waiting room, they were all sitting on chairs, the doctor was at his desk in front of them. She was there to buy an inhaler for asthma. But when it was her turn, she said "I don't have breathing problems anymore, I don't have asthma anymore, sometimes I gag, but I don't have any more asthma." And he said "then you don't need the inhaler." "I don't?" she said. "You don't." "How much is it?" He said "16 dollars." She said "O good! then I can spend that money on treats for myself." And then because she was happy and high spirited and loved her doctor, she plopped herself down on his lap, to give him affection. Which shocked her and shocked the doctor, but she didn't care, she was happy.
There were other dreams too, where things all worked out her way.
O yes that peculiar dream. She was walking in Times Square, she was with someone. A man in front of her had nice slippers. She tried them on and she liked them. She handed it back to him, it was just one slipper. But they had walked quite a distance. They were all taking the boat to Florida. And he and the woman he was with were asking her if she liked Florida. "I was only there once" she said, "as kid, my mom took me when she visited her mom, she wanted her mom to see her daughter, me. I remember the airport when we arrived and got off, it smelled from coconut, I loved Florida."
The man and his wife knew Florida very well, they loved it. He said "I just bought the slippers, I bought them in the drug store, they are not expensive at all." "But there aren't anymore drug stores" Annie said, "except that one in Times Square where you bought yours and I don't want to walk all the way back there." It was a conflict, should she return and buy the great slippers, or just keep going? She decided to just keep going. So she got on the tour boat. Which appeared to be heading north to Alaska, but she knew she was going to Florida, so she thought "maybe it came from Alaska." And when the boat made a stop for them to all get off, the tour guide or boat captain said "there is a nice public beach here." And Annie wanted to swim in the lake. She hadn't brought a bathing suit, she hadn't brought anything with her. But she figured she would improvise something. And that is when she woke up in the morning, she was heading to the beach, it was night, she was going to swim in the lake and improvise.
There was one more dream. She was with Leona, the mother of her high school boyfriend, walking around the grounds of Pomonok, the city housing project where her boyfriend had lived, across the street from the housing project where she grew up. She and Leona were walking on the grass and the grass was in terrible shape. And they were both saying to each other how easy it would be for them to put in new beautiful green grass and they would do it, and they pictured the new beautiful green grass in their mind's eye.
So I think the best way we can handle the tooth thing, is let's work on restoring your happiness first. Even tho this tooth thing happened, there is no reason, there is nothing stopping you, from being even happier than you were before. Of really letting your spirits rise, of aiming high for happiness. Why not go really up there, be really happy. And then after we have achieved that, we can come up together with some solution to the tooth thing. It doesn't mean we will never fix it, it just means we won't fix it right now.
I know it's hard to put out of your mind, but it will get easier, you will start to forget about it. And obviously if you are having dreams about renewal, it is renewal which is on the agenda. This is the time of renewal, a great time of renewal, a time of great renewal. If the asthma is gone, then you have reached some plateau you were striving for. It arrived 20 odd years ago out of nowhere, you had never had it before. It afflicted you for 12 years and then began diminishing and now it is all gone. On a symbolic level, you were out of breath from exertion, you were making a climb, you were struggling climbing up. Darling it is cause for celebration, that you have reached this plateau. And a boat in the opposite direction of icy Alaska, on its way to Florida, is a boat to paradise. The stops along the way include a nice public beach to swim in the nice lake, what could be better! And finding those wonderful slippers. I know they weren't pretty and glamorous, they were brown and a man's slippers, but so cushioned, so comfortable, so perfect in every way, and available in any drug store. Of course you were right not to return to Times Square to buy them, when you are on your way to paradise. But now you know they exist, you will keep your eyes open for them, they may come your way. And that you and Leona are seeding a new lawn in the public housing project, to turn it all green and beautiful for everyone. What is more luxurious and wonderful than beautiful green grass!
Darling be happy
All my darlings, be happy
Great great happiness is at hand
for all of you
I love you
Annie's Higher Self who loves you all more than the universe
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